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Special Delivery
Special Delivery is the fourteenth episode of the spin-off, Absorbent Days, the fourteenth episode of season one, and the second special of both the spin-off and season one. In this episode, A mailman accidently drops all of the Valentine’s Day cards into a nearby manhole, including his own, which an extremely important one. When SpongeBob is washing his hands at the Krusty Krab, the cards appear, launching SpongeBob into wall, only for the important card to catch SpongeBob’s eye. The card, though obviously not for him and lost in translation, claims he and a friend must go on a quest to deliver the other cards. After accidently delivering the cards to the wrong people, a full-scale riot against the now infamous “Matrimony Mailmen” begins. The only one they believe to fix this is “The Heart King” who possesses all wisdom on love, especially on Valentine’s Day. Can he fix this with the help of SpongeBob, Patrick, and now Sandy? Characters *SpongeBob SquarePants *Patrick Star *Heart King *Sandy Cheeks *Miscellaneous Background Characters *Mailman *Members of Riot Transcript *''begins with a mailman, walking down the sidewalk on the phone, carrying a bag of mail'' *'Mailman: 'phone ''Ha! That's a good one, Frederick! ''heard on phone ''What do you mean you weren't joking?! ''phone away angrily ''I made the right decision, mother! ''and continues walking ''What does she know? *'Pedestrian: on mailman's shoulder ''Excuse me. Do you have the time? *'Mailman: ''bag of letters out of being startled; letters fall into a nearby manhole What is your problem?! You just made me drops all of the Valentine's Day letters! *'Pedestrian: What is the big point of dumb Valentine's Day letters? *'Mailman: '''I would bid you a good day, but Frankly, I must explain. ''pedestrian's face ''I just dropped the most important Valentine's letter in all of Bikini Bottom!...My wife's. *'Pedestrian: 'Is it that one right there? ''to Valentine's letter near manhole *'Mailman: '''Yes! It still lives! ''sweat ''Thank Neptune! I can still make it too! *'Pedestrian: 'Don't worry. I got it. ''letter into manhole then runs away ''You never gave me the time! ''laughs *'Mailman: '''Curse you! *begins to pan with the falling letters, finally making their descent into the sewer water, where they then continue to float and is finally sucked up into an unknown pipe'' *''cuts to The Krusty Krab where SpongeBob is washing his hands'' *'SpongeBob: '''Washing the ol' palms again under a quality sink. Good thing I reminded Mr. Krabs to get this sink fixed. I thought it would cost a fortune. ''to turn lever to turn sink off, only for the knob to break ''Figures. *begins to swell'' *'SpongeBob: '''Well that's not good. Better take a look. ''a look at the underside of the faucet, only to be blown into the wall with Valentine's Day cards; rubs head ''At least the sink is unclogged now. ''up card ''What's this? ''poem ''What do we have here? This card is not the best For a fish like you, but you make all of my wishes come true So this card is for you, Sue. *'SpongeBob: 'Neat. ''at another card ''This one looks interesting. You never can get what you want No matter how hard you try, And after you blame me for your failures, you always sob and cry. This may not seem like a card to you, But this isn't to make you blue. Because no matter how much you fail, I will always love you. *'SpongeBob: 'From Karen to Plankton. Of course. ''another to self ''Oh no. This is terrible. ''card aloud All the cards cannot compare, to you, my heir. I remember when you made your first friend, and you stay with him and will until the end. So though you may be a little square, and your friend a little pink, I just want you to know, You are the only thing I think. *'SpongeBob: '''Do you know what this means? ''reader ''I'm talking to you! ''to reader ''It obviously says a little square, like me, and my friend who is pink, which is Patrick, must deliver the Valentine's Day cards! All of these cards! They're a sign. Patrick and I must deliver these cards! *'Patrick: ''appears What do you mean? *'SpongeBob:' Read this, Patrick. ''Patrick the card *'Patrick: 'reading ''Hmm hmm. Yes, I see. Hmm hmm. ''reading; in shock ''It's worse than I ever could imagine! It's a Valentine's Day card! *'SpongeBob: Not just that, buddy. You and I have to go on a quest to deliver these cards. Are you in, Patrick? *'Patrick: '''Well, considering that I am Patrick, I guess you could say I'm inside of myself. ''chin ''Yet, you could be talking about do I want to go on the quest so....no. *'SpongeBob: 'Why not? *'Patrick: 'What do you mean? I said I wanted to. *'SpongeBob: 'But you said no. *'Patrick: 'I no. I mean...wait, it's the other one. I meant to say I know. *'SpongeBob: 'But Patrick, it doesn't...whatever. Let's deliver these cards, Patrick! *'SpongeBob and Patrick: 'Yeah! ''up and high-five *'SpongeBob: '''Get your costumes ready, Patrick. ''and Patrick go into a montage of putting on mailman-like clothing ''Let's do this! *cuts to Plankton at the Chum Bucket'' *'Plankton: '''Oh, come on, Karen! I gave you your Valentine's Day card! Now where's mine?! *'Karen: 'Calm you unusally large antennae down, Plankton. ''cuts to Plankton, touching his antennae ''Your card is just late. *'Plankton: 'How can I believe anything you say? ''around and crosses arms ''You can lie right through your circuit boards. *'Karen: 'That's not true. ''begins to spark ''Ignore that. *and Patrick walk through the door'' *'SpongeBob: '''I think I can fix both of your problems. *'Plankton: 'Away with you! Can't you see my wife and I are in the middle of something?! *'Patrick: 'At least not from my angle. *'SpongeBob: 'Here's something that could cheer you up, Plankton. ''behind back *'Plankton: '''Is it the secret formula? That would make me happier than the day I got married to Karen! *'Karen: ''gasps Plankton! *'Plankton: Fine! They're equal...whispers ''somewhat. *'SpongeBob: 'Nope. ''out envelope ''It's Karen's Valentine's Day card to you. ''Plankton the card ''I think it's really sweet...except for the beginning. *'Plankton: 'The beginning what's wrong with the beginning? *and Patrick whistle and leave the Chum Bucket'' *'Plankton: '''What is he talking about, Karen? *'Karen: ''to be holding a pencil and writing on paper Oh, it's...uh...something you should never look at if you want to stay alive! ''a ray to come out of ceiling *''runs out of room quickly'' *'Karen: '''Gets him everytime. ''ray *''cuts to SpongeBob handing a male fish a card'' *'SpongeBob: '''There you go, sir. Sorry if it was late. ''away *'Male Fish: '''Hmm...I don't remember getting my wife one of these. *'Female Fish: angrily ''What was that, Benjamin? *'Benjamin: ''scared Oh, nothing. *cuts to Patrick handing a male fish a card'' *'Patrick: '''And your card, sir. I hope that you find some use for it. It didn't do me one bit of good. ''away angrily *'Male Fish 2: '''What was that all about? *then cuts to a montage of SpongeBob and Patrick handing out cards'' *''cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick on the top of a hill'' *'SpongeBob: 'heavily ''Woo! That was quite some card giving we did. I'm all out of breath. *'Patrick: How? We only gave out cards to one block. *'SpongeBob: '''Because...breathes...we are in...breathes...Sandy's treedome. It's just all air. ''places air helmet on SpongeBob ''Thanks, Patrick. *'Patrick: 'For doing what? *'Sandy: ''out of tree What are you doing here, Spongey? Pinkey? *'Patrick: Who? *'SpongeBob: '''Hey ya Sandy. Patrick and I were told to go a quest to deliver all of these Valentine's Day cards. ''out card ''And you're the last stop on our quest. ''card to Sandy *'Sandy: '''Thank you, SpongeBob. Finally I get a card addressed to me-gan. Who's Megan? *'SpongeBob: 'Let me take a look at that. ''at card ''Oh my goodness. This card is addressed to some guy named Megan. *'Sandy: 'I'm pretty sure that's a girl, SpongeBob. *'SpongeBob: 'You never know. *'Patrick: 'I don't see the problem. Megan lives down the street from here. That was the plan, right? To give the card to the person who lives down the street from the person on the card? *'SpongeBob: 'Patrick, when did I say something like that? *'Patrick: ''shoulders You didn't. I just wanted to see what would happen. *'Sandy: Something like that. to riot approacing Sandy's house *'SpongeBob: '''Patrick, what do we do? A riot is coming to rip us to shreds! *'Patrick: 'Shreds? You're right! This is terrible! *approaches the house'' *'Male Fish 3: '''What do we want?! *'Riot: 'To stop the Matrimony Mailmen! *'Male Fish 3: 'That's right! Now let's do this. *'SpongeBob: 'Who are the Matrimony Mailmen? *'Sandy: You two, shell for brains. Now get moving. I have an escape pod in my tree. If we go now, we can escape the riot...I think. SpongeBob and Patrick and all hop into the escape pod in tree Initiating countdown. Five...cracks glass...four...into treedome...three...to rip apart tree...two...fish begin to look inside of tree hole at escape pod...blast off! is pushed off of tree, rocketing away from the dome *'Patrick: '''That was a close one. *'SpongeBob: The riot? *'Patrick: '''No. ''out card ''They almost got the card in my pocket. *'SpongeBob: 'Of course! The card! ''card and begins to read ''These lines may shed some light on our situation. This card is meant for you, not the king or the queen, I know you'll love this card It'll make you sing. But do not worry if the neighbors complain, because that doesn't mean I won't love you the same. *'SpongeBob: 'Do you know what this means, Patrick?! It's saying that The Heart King is the only way that can save the day. To The Heart King's castle oh great rocket! *'Sandy: 'Way to break it to you, SpongeBob, but this rocket doesn't take commands. *'Rocket: 'On route to The Heart King's castle. *'Patrick: 'Where? *'SpongeBob: 'Say, Sandy. How exactly is this thing going to land easily? *crashes into front lawn of castle'' *'Sandy: '''Yep. We're not going to. *cuts to SpongeBob, Sandy, and Patrick walk into the castle'' *'SpongeBob: '''What is this place? It's so dark and...scary. *'Patrick: 'Maybe it wouldn't be so dark it someone would turn a light on in here. ''is heard ''Hey, Spongey. Do you hear that? *'SpongeBob: 'Did you just call me Spongey? ''by Patrick into a large lit room ''Where are we? *'Patrick: 'Beats me. *'Sandy: ''offscreen; camera cuts to reveal Sandy sitting, holding a cup of tea Oh, Jefferson. You always were quite the jokester. *pans to reveal a blue fish with a large robe on him'' *'Jefferson: 'laughs ''Thank you, Sandra. *'SpongeBob: down ''Are you the great Heart King, mister sir? *'Patrick: ''off plaque from podium I don't know. But this bagette looks delicious. It gold and solid. ''to bite down on plaque *'Fish: '''Give that back! ''back plaque; camera pans to reveal a large throne with a green fish on top of it *'Patrick: '''Geez. Some people are so pushy. *'SpongeBob: You obviously must be the Heart King, great sir. *'Fish: '''Nope. That's the scrawny one over there. *pans to reveal a scrawny brown fish, sitting in a chair'' *'SpongeBob: '''You're the Heart King? But, you're so......strength deficient. *'Heart King: 'Usually I'm not as scrawny as I appear. ''up ''But that's usually on the most loviest day of the year. The day of the year that gives me the most power, and that was supposed to be today. Valentine's Day. But since everybody is rioting against you two...on television to reveal the riot...my powers are being drained more by the minute. *'Patrick: 'Then why don't you just make everyone stop...uh...hate-ering...each other? ''on hips ''There we go. Problem solved. *'Heart King: 'Not exactly. ''button on remote; screen shows power meter ''As you can see, I am currently at thirty percent full. ''to another meter ''I am supposed to be at thirty one percent to be able to make everyone happy again, thus recharging me. *'Sandy: ''laughs You just keep them coming, don't you? *'Heart King: Haven't I told you not to entertain the guests, Jefferson? chair at Jefferson; Jefferson dodges chair and runs out of room Does anyone know where to get some magic? *'Patrick: '''Once again. Beats me. *'SpongeBob: 'Maybe the card has something that can help us. ''out card and begins to read *'''Heart King: ''card out of SpongeBob's hand Get that out of here! That's the main source of my power draining! The card sucks the energy around it, and since it has been in town, it absorbed the negative energy. ''face on wall ''I can't take it anymore. *'Sandy: Well, then we're going to have to find a way to get the cards delivered! *'SpongeBob: '''But how? *'Heart King: 'It's okay, guys. I guess Valentine's Day won't live on. It's best if you go back to town and accept fate. ''blinds ''I'm done. *cuts to SpongeBob walking down the street with Patrick in normal clothes'' *'Patrick: '''What are we doing again? *'SpongeBob: 'Nothing, Patrick. Absolutely nothing. We failed, Patrick. We couldn't save Valentine's Day. ''on shoulder by fish *'Pedestrian: '''Excuse me. May I have the time? *accidently drops the card into the sewer; card continues to flow through sewer eventually being brought behind Sandy's rocket'' *'Sandy: '''Time to get out here. ''start-up button; rocket fire burns the card, causing the card to be burned up *''cuts to inside of castle where Heart King is sitting on the chair'' *'Heart King: '''I can't believe that I could let Valentine's Day slip through my grasp. If only I got just ''begins to flow around Heart King ''a little more...into a muscular brown fish'' power! *''cuts back to SpongeBob and Patrick'' *'SpongeBob: '''Oh no! I dropped the card! What am I going to do? That was the only thing that might be able to save the town. *'Patrick: 'Speaking of the town, here comes the riot. *is seen running toward SpongeBob and Patrick'' *'SpongeBob: '''I guess this is it. ''and Patrick brace for impact *'''Heart King: ''in front of SpongeBob and Patrick Halt, riot! ''arrows at riot, causing them to stop *'Male Fish: '''What is going on here? *'Female Fish: Yeah. Why are we holding pitchforks? *'Male Fish 2: '''I don't know. *'Heart King: ''SpongeBob and Patrick But how are we going to get the cards exchanged? *flies over team with rocket'' *'Sandy: '''I think we can fix that with this rocket. *cuts to montage of SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, and Heart King exchanging the cards throughout Bikini Bottom'' *'SpongeBob: 'out of rocket ''And to think that it all started with someone asking... *'Pedestrian: on SpongeBob's shoulder ''Do you know the time? *'SpongeBob: ''angrily No, I do not know the...! Wait a minute. Look at your wrist. *'Pedestrian: '''at wrist ''What do you know. I have a watch. *'SpongeBob: 'Wow! Thank goodness you didn't know, or else this all would have ended badly. Who knew that you would unintentionally save the day? *'Pedestrian: 'Oh, was it unintentionally? ''off mask, revealing the Heart King *'SpongeBob: '''But how did you...? *'Heart King: 'I'm a magician. Being in two places at once is a piece of cake. ''beeps ''Oh. Looks like it's time to say... *'Everybody: 'Happy Valentine's Day everybody! *ends'' Category:Absorbent Days Category:Absorbent Days Specials Category:Specials Category:Absorbent Days Episodes: Season One Category:Episodes Category:The Mega Marathon Category:Templates Category:2013 Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts